I'm 31 years old.
I seek a special name all the time, which i can speak loudly. During the seeking road, I had never given up. Because i found i not only interest in women, but also interest in men. I had felt sad, upset, hesitating and search support, once try to give up but finally face the truth. In the process of growing up, as the majority of people who like me, i had no time to escape from social bondage and take breath freely. i try my best to live during the heterosexual and homosexual groups. But what kind of society can bisexuals live freely?
i can get along with girls easily from a young age, they would like to talk to me with many themselves secrets and matter of the heart. And I'm wondering why i can write a love letter which others can't write. i never know i could interest in boys. Because i always interest in girls with big eyes from a young age, or virtuous and lovable girls. Although i look at men sometimes, but the feeling when i look at them is not love.
Not until when i was Senior Year, it had changed. That was a hot summer. I had made a friendship with a very good man, and then we fall in love each other. We had a great time, we shared happiness and sadness each other. At that time, I had never thought of why should i choose gender when i fall in love with a person. At the end of this love, i had understood a truth: i would never acknowledge the truth of I'm bisexual to homosexual easily. Because he told me that he was afraid of i will get married to a girl in the future. So he decided to leave me alone at this time in case of the pain in the future. i had realized that my death penalty was condemned by prejudice.
When i was sophomore, i had a lot of love experience. On that occasion, i loved a classmate girl, but my friends near me didn't think so. Most of them thought i just agree with the main society under pressure from family and society. Even one of them gay friends told me that i just could not face my true mind, so i return to the mainstream. I'm very afraid of lost my gay friends. It seems that i was betraying them once i loved a woman. I tried to explain to them that i just loved that woman as i loved man. But no one trusted me.
But now i join a bisexual playground, i will persevere in my mind. I'm bisexual, love is love. What i loved is his/her soul rather than gender.
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